Here Comes the Sun: December 2010

2009 was the year of The Wait. For the entire year, we sat quietly on a list, hoping that our agency was completely pulling our chain about how long this whole wait time thingy would be. I honestly thought that we might have our referral by the end of 2009 and then travel in early 2010. Silly, silly, silly me.

Although I struggled deeply with The Wait in 2010, the year ended exactly how we had hoped and here I sit, typing this at my dining room table next to the most beautiful boy wearing a union suit with oatmeal in his hair.

I know it's cliche to do an annual retrospective, but hey, I tend to be pretty cliche. Plus, I am downright mushy about everything right now and I'm in the mood for crying all over my keyboard.

At the end of 2009, we learned that Mom's breast cancer had returned after 11 years of living cancer-free. It was extremely scary for all of us, but mostly for my mom. In January, she underwent surgery and all we could do was wait and see. It sucks to be powerless and this terrible event was a brutal reminder that many times, we have no control over things. During these times, all we can do is accept the things we cannot change and try to remain calm.

In January, Mike played at the annual Hot Stove, Cool Music benefit concert (which he has been playing for the past 9 years) and we had a chance to let loose and party with some fun people. I was especially excited to drink some beers with a ball player of which I am a huge fan. It was a fun evening and I'm hoping that the event in 2011 is as equally entertaining.

In February, Mom was back in the hospital, having surgery for a second time. This time, the results were better and now she must be vigilant about having her check-ups and screens so that she never has to go through this horrible crap again.

Also in February, we went tubing at Nashoba Valley and embraced the wintry weather.

In March, we spent time with some old friends and made some new ones. Mike's friends, Marc and Dar, came for a visit and we spent HOURS chatting and catching up. We also met Holli and Joe for the first time! Our social worker had come by for our homestudy update and said that she had recently met a couple who live around the corner from us and they are also adopting from Ethiopia. She shared our contact information and we had the chance to meet them at a local restaurant. They are amazing people and we are so fortunate to have them as friends.

In April, I turned a year older and realized that my life was quickly passing me by. Baseball season was back (woohoo!) and Mike went on tour with Graham Parker.

May brought the nice weather, visits with dear friends and a visit from an arch enemy. Anxiety crept back into my head and into my life and I would suddenly feel really awful even when I was doing things that I enjoyed. It sucked. A lot. I hadn't experienced anxiety attacks in many years and I thought that I had conquered that demon. I had to learn how to breathe again and let go of the stuff that I couldn't control. During this month, I rediscovered the Serenity Prayer and found a version on Wikipedia (yes, folks Wikipedia) that spoke to me.

God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

This little prayer got me through what turned into a VERY EVENTFUL remainder of the year.

In June, we got The Call that would forever change our lives. Seeing Kenenisa's face for the first time was indescribable. Finally, we were entering a new chapter and I had no idea how challenging and rewarding the next steps were going to be. Mike and I had planned a trip to St. Thomas, so we went and enjoyed our final vacation as a family of two.

During the month of July, we spent most of our time running around getting our vaccinations completed and trying to get our lives and nursery in order for the arrival of our son. The big question that was now being asked was "when will you get to bring him home?". We had no clue.

Molly convinced me to seek out acupuncture as a way to deal with my anxiety, so I finally got my act together in August and began being inserted with needles and learning about my Qi deficiencies. The courts in Ethiopia had closed for two months (another thing that I was not able to control), so the best I could do was to take care of myself and breathe.

At the end of the month, our family mourned the loss of Chris and Sandra's sweet little angel, Aiden. On that same day, we celebrated the birth of their beautiful baby girl, Maggie. Accepting our powerlessness is truly humbling.

In September, we learned that we would be meeting our boy during the first week of October. At work, I began my preparations for a future maternity leave and one of my co-workers married her best friend. We had a ball at the wedding.

In October, we finally had the chance to hold our son. I have already written about that experience here and feel like that entry captures the moment well. Saying goodbye was incredibly painful but we had to make two trips and once again we had no clue as to when the next trip would be. I was insanely busy at work, trying to get things wrapped up for my leave of absence and another co-worker married her best friend. We had a ball at that wedding, too.

In November, we experienced a crushing blow. Our beloved dog, Grendyl, had heart failure and we had to make the agonizing decision to put her down. She had not been ill, so it came as quite a shock to both of us. We had already booked our flights to return to Ethiopia on November 5th and she passed away on November 2nd. I still don't think I have had the chance to fully grieve the loss. The past couple of months have been such a whirlwind and I still can't believe that she's gone. I miss her so much. It was interesting to learn that many of our friends lost pets right before the birth of their children. It's like they know that it's their time to go. I wish that Keni could have had the chance to meet her. She was such a special dog.

In yin yang style, while we mourned the loss of one family member, we gained an incredible new one. On November 13, 2010, we brought Kenenisa to the US and our home has been filled with his little, sweet laugh, hilarious babbling and a high-pitched shriek that will make your hair stand on end.

I love him so much and I'm so grateful for everything that we learned throughout this journey. This experience has not only ended with an amazing child, but it has opened doors to new friendships, new perspectives on the human condition and an enormous appreciation for all that we have. This year made me realize that I have a lot to learn and I'm hoping that in 2011, I can continue to experience new things and grow. However it would be nice to have an uneventful and boring year, because 2010 was anything but that.

Love to you all and may 2011 bring you peace and joy.
Happy New Year!

Kenenisa is 1!

Our Silly McGillicutty has been on the planet for twelve months and each day he seems to grow, change and make us laugh with new development, language and behavior. When we received our referral, he was six months old and all we wanted at that time was to be together to celebrate his first birthday as a family. Our dream came to fruition and here we are, sharing our worlds with each other.

Today, our goal was to have a low-key, mellow celebration and that is exactly what we did. We listened to some music, ate dinner and enjoyed some b-day pumpkin pie (yup, he likes that stuff).

As I mentioned earlier, he makes us chuckle on a regular basis. Today was no exception. He rolled over to a bookshelf in our living room and took a rather large book off of the bottom shelf. Obviously, he's trying to tell us something.

This seriously happened! How insane is that? Clearly he wants us to get it together and go back to basics (see photo #2 where he has actually opened the book to the chapter titled "Getting Started"). Check out his expression - he knows this will be posted on the blog and he is pleading for help. We are trying our best, little fella!

I love this boy to pieces and couldn't be happier that we are a family. Thank you, Keni, for making life so much more fun and meaningful. Happy Birthday!!!